The Romance of YOU

It’s the month of love.  February 14^th is often associated with expressions of romantic and affectionate feelings.  One definition of romance is – A deep and strong emotional desire to connect with another person intimately.   You may have felt that way about another person in your life.  The question today is how often have you felt that way about connecting with … YOU?!

The natural way for most humans to form bonds with one another is through verbal and even nonverbal communication.  Consider for a moment, how do you communicate with yourself?  That wonderful human that you get to be the most connected with always.  It may surprise you to learn that your internal dialogue is connected to so much more than you can imagine.  Success in all areas of life including your wish for glowing skin, healthy thyroids, weight management, relationships, career, and overall wellness begin with how you treat yourself (and talk to yourself).

Wow! So much importance, yet, monitoring your inner dialogue was not a subject in school and it’s doubtful your parents understood it to pass on to you.  Before you start throwing up barriers and thinking, “Oh, this sounds so self-centered and/or selfish”, think of this—the more you are kind and loving to yourself the more you will care about others.  YES! It’s true, by raising your standard of self-care you will raise everyone else up with you.  Are you out of excuses?  Good.

Listen, I’ve had my share of struggles and self-love is top of the heap and continues to be difficult for me to overcome.  For almost as long as I can think back in my past, I’ve had one constant overwhelming feeling that I’m “just not good enough”.  I could easily bore you with a list of “mean girl” comments I’ve repeated to myself.  The focus today is I found another voice in me.  She is kind, respectful, nurturing, full of gratitude and inspiring.  You can find that part of you too!  You give it freely to others.  In fact, you may often be much more accepting of others than you are of you.  Remember how humans connect in the paragraph above?  It’s verbal and nonverbal.  When working with my clients, many find the exercise of smiling at the reflection in the mirror life changing.  Try it!

You are worthy of love and acceptance – especially from yourself.  Isn’t it time to begin a romance with YOU?  Below are a few concepts to be aware of as you encourage your loving self to come out of the shadows and shine in your life.

• Ways to show self-love: Treat yourself with respect. Try to think of someone you admire.  Now try to imagine saying to them the things you speak to you.  Does it sound respectful?  No?  Say kind things to yourself and also ABOUT yourself.
• Take time: When you take time to know yourself you will have more love and acceptance of you.  When someone you love is ill or exhausted you wish for them to take care of themselves.  Are you allowing that time to care for you?  Guess what?  You are allowed time to get better, rest, revive, refresh.
• Ban perfect: Perfectionism is a joy vacuum.  It literally sucks the joy right out of you and your life!  If you struggle with this (BIG one for me), I highly suggest Brene Brown’s book “The gifts of Imperfection”.
• Allow compliments: Thank you.  Learn to accept compliments with those two simple words.
• Boundaries: You can say “no”.  Think about where you say “yes” but wish to say “no”.  You do not have to do it all.  In fact, no one can do it all.  Leave some for others!  Practicing the art of saying “No” with ease and asking for help when needed creates a solid rock for real self-love.

Please share with us your triumphs and struggles of thoughts and actions that promote your own self-love in your life. Leave us a  comment below!